


Love Crime

by kolejnyczlowiek



Category: Naruto
Genre: All the fun things, Blood, Death, F/M, bit of smut later, mental trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-31
Updated: 2016-08-14
Packaged: 2018-07-28 11:13:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7637839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kolejnyczlowiek/pseuds/kolejnyczlowiek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU: Sakura decides to kill Karin and Sasuke allows her to follow. But everything has it’s price. Sakura-centric.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Sakura felt drops of blood on her light skin, so warm, she could have sworn they were burning deep into her. Some of of them had been washed away by tears slowly moving down her cheeks towards already wet, red stone.

Her hands were clenched into fists, one of them wielding a kunai. Her breath was sharp and fast and her body began shaking as she finally managed to fully focus onto the sight before her.

Yes, she had killed. Mostly wretched creatures that could hardly be called human at all, those, who already had been sentenced to death, who would end her if she didn't do so. But it never made her feel good. She never felt any sense of victory or a purpose. She had tried to see a reason for her actions, she tried to justify her doings – but rarely it managed to pull her away from dreadful thoughts, she was still feeling the hot fires of hell crawling on her skin. Even after defeating someone like Sasori she had suffered from terrible nightmares and often she ended up in her parents' arms who were woken up by her screams and cries.

She had never told them the truth.

And now, when she remember that this girl, that poor girl had never been her enemy but a tool —used and abused, when she remembered how she had been looking at her with pleading eyes, sheer terror and completely unable to stand up for herself and fight back, as Sakura cut her throat… In her whole damn life, Sakura had never been more disgusted with herself.

Cold sweat started forming on her forehead and her stomach seemed to be twisting into every direction. Feeling sick, she dropped the kunai and rushed to the balustrade. She bend over and vomited right into the river running under the bridge. She was coughing badly until she heard Him taking steps towards the dead body of his teammate. Her body tensed immediately. Loud chirping of _chidori_ ceased as He examined the corpse.

She knew that He was aware of her intentions all along and He was set to kill her at any moment. Truthfully, neither of them expected Sakura to actually finish off someone she deemed innocent for the sake of her “childish crush”.

Which is why she was so afraid to turn around and face him. All her shinobi career revolved around Him – everything she had ever done was to impress Him, to stop being a burden all the damn time, to become useful member of their team and, finally, to bring Him back home. And the fact that after all this time, after all the things she had been through, He could have look at her with nothing but repulsion and disappointment pained her so much she'd prefer His _chidori_ in her chest.

“Sakura.”

His voice was deep and hoarse. She recognized it, yet it was so different than what she had known it to be like during their genin days. Even in Orochimaru's lair He had sounded so much more… alive.

She gulped loudly, taking her steps slowly and carefully as she turned around. She tried to avoid his eyes at any cost but the blood (oh, there was so much blood) made her only more nauseous. Her legs swayed and the whole world seemed to whirl around her. Sakura finally lost the remaining control over her body and started falling forward.

Sasuke quickly jumped to her but instead of catching her into his arms as he had been used to do, not that she would… not that he would allow her to know this, he grabbed her neck firmly and pushed her into one of the stone pillars. His hold wasn't tight enough to choke her, though it surely didn't allow her to breathe freely, but it was enough to give her a warning.

To her surprise (yet it was so obvious, wasn't it?) his face expressed no emotion. There was only a usual frown and sharingan spinning furiously but his feelings remained a mystery to her. Still, it was better than the bored look that he once had been giving her.

“Where are the others?”

She tried to pry open his fingers but it made him clench them more firmly.

Her voice was quiet and rough as she spoke “K-Kiba… Lee and Sa-Sai… I… I knocked them out. Al-also Na--”

He did not let her finish. He let go of her, allowing her body to fall on the ground like a rag doll. She was coughing so strong she started to shake again. She touched her neck and allowed green chakra to heal the dark red bruises.

Sasuke reached for his katana, looking at the forest behind them but still keeping close to the girl, ready to activate his _chidori_ if she tried to attack him. His stance was battle-ready and he seemed to be genuinely pleased by something that was coming towards them, fast.

Sakura focused all her senses at the same point as he did.

'Kakashi-sensei…'

She got up to her feet, still rather unstable. Her instinct ordered her to run to him, to cry out for help or at least warn him if she couldn't not save herself. But she stopped right after one step. Not because sharingan, directed towards her as soon as she had moved, have intimidated her – she saw Karin's dead body. Bloody footprints were leading right towards the murderer and bottom of Sakura's cloak was as red as her kunai laying on the ground.

'Oh no… Oh no oh no oh no.'

Kakashi couldn't see her like this. End of Team 7 already had broken his heart and Sasuke managed to shatter it even more. As much as Sakura and Naruto tried to hide their suffering from him, he would worry nevertheless. Not to mention every secret he had been keeping to himself for all his lonely years.

And now she had to choose between being a criminal or a traitor, giving the man yet another scar.

'Don't allow him to see you… _Just don't allow him to see you_.”

“Sasuke-kun, we should go before Kakashi's here. You're hurt and low on chakra, and he's going to have a back up.”

“Shut up.”

Sakura was taken aback by his aggressive tone and ferocious look he gave her. She stilled, afraid to move as not to provoke him any further. In the meantime she could feel Kakashi's chakra getting closer with every second.

Then, to her surprise, a familiar person, disguised in orange mask and Akatsuki's coat, materialized next to Sasuke. It seemed he had expected him as he sheathed his katana and turned his head towards the man, shifting impatiently from one foot to the other.

“I've got something to do before we can go.”

Sakura noticed a red flicker behind Tobi's mask but it disappeared as soon as he looked at her, his head tilting softly in wonder.

“Your friend here… Is she that »something« or is it perhaps Kakashi?”

Sasuke didn't answer, just turned from him, facing the forest again.

Karin's corpse caught Tobi's attention who sighed heavily when he realized that the girl is dead.

“You need to stop wasting our resources, boy.”

“She shouldn't have been in my way then. Sacrifices must be made.”

“We'll need a proper medic. I can't do much.”

“SAKURA!”

She shifted towards the pillar, trying to hide her bloodied figure before Kakashi who had just landed at the end of the bridge. Sasuke noticed that, and she could swear he chuckled mockingly at her.

“Sakura, are you hurt? Sasuke, what the hell is going on?”

“Long time no see, Kakashi,” said Sasuke seemingly pleased, taking his katana once again and cutting the air swiftly. “You have something of mine and I'd like it back.”

Kakashi's hand moved towards his forehead protector which covered his eye. Man's eyebrows furrowed and his legs spread slightly as he took a defensive position.

Preparing for Sasuke's eventual attack, he looked around for a place that could be both his hideout and his shield as he had no intention of fighting his student. Only then Karin's dirty corpse came into his sight. His eyes widened in terror and breath stilled for seconds that seemed like eternity. Kakashi's body trembled and fingers twitched eager to reach for kunai, out of habit, as it always had happened whenever he encountered a danger, while the other side of him made him want to run up to the girl and check if she was truly dead – the want stopped though when he noticed the deep cut on her throat.

Cautiously he looked at the three of them, as if trying to make sense of the current situation himself since he knew he wouldn't be getting any answers out of them.

His eyes lingered at Sakura the longest but she did not notice, having her head down and waiting patiently for his judgment. But it never came. Instead he kept looking at her with wonder, figuring out her role in this mess.

He flinched when he noticed the red of her cloak. He reached for her, taking few steps closer, intending to repeat his question. But, to their surprise, she was immediately shielded by Sasuke dangerously lifting his katana into the air and ready to strike.

Kakashi stopped in a mid step. Sasuke was able to clearly see disappointment in his eyes but he only scowled at the man, annoyed by the fact that he was not indifferent to his ex-sensei. Because bonds… bonds were nothing but a nuisance in no way useful to his plan.

Sasuke could feel Tobi shifting away from them, crossing his arms, quite irked by the outcome of the situation. Man sighed heavily, knowing they were not getting out of it any time soon.

“Sasuke, to sink so low...”

Sasuke's body relaxed at Kakashi's words. The tip of his katana hit the stone ground and boy's head tilted to the side. A wide grin crept on his face and his chest shook with silent laughter.

“This?” he asked, pointing at Karin. “Oh, you are not going to believe this.”

He took a few steps back and grabbed Sakura's arm bruisingly. He jerked her forwards before Kakashi's sight and pulled her closer to him as if she was a prize on display. And she was in a sense – a comeback for years when the man was wrongfully using Uchiha family's gift, a reminder of a day when he finally made him pay. Sakura had always been Kakashi's favourite...

The older man shook his head, gulping loudly and mouthing words of denial. His eyes became watery and fist began clench and unclench as he was trying to decide whenever to stay cautious or allow himself to break.

Naruto's obnoxiously loud voice echoed trough the forest and reached the bridge, interrupting the moment and easing the tension – for everyone but Sasuke.

He let go of Sakura and his face took on serious expression. He seemed to slowly sober up from his earlier state but the madness hadn't disappeared from his eyes. Sakura wasn't sure if it was possible for them to become even redder than blood and she surely hadn't seen that black shape before, spinning too fast to be recognized.

Naruto landed next to Kakashi. He was surprisingly calm and quiet.

“Naruto.” Despite sensei's whispers, the rest of them were able to make out his words. “Don't do anything stupid, this is not the time to--”

The boy turned away from him, he wasn't planning on doing anything risky anyway but he sure as hell wasn't going to stand and passively watch the scene before him.

“Sakura-chan, you should come back. This isn't your fight.”

Sakura shivered out of disgust hearing his words. She was disgusted with both of them – with herself, because she sinned so horribly, abused and betrayed her teammate's trust, and with him because again he was so, so forgiving. Did she really needed to kill to finally realize how naive he was? No, he didn't know yet about the cause of Karin's death, he would know soon enough, he would punish her justifiably to her doings if he was going to have any mercy left…

“Naruto, you…” Sasuke said, as dark-lavender chakra slowly started coming out of his body, reaching the ground and then going up and up, forming a spine. Sharp ribs grew out of it after a while and twisted around him. Purple fire never stopped burning, quite the contrary. “You're the one I want to kill the most.”

Naruto opened his mouth to say something, probably like an accusation of Sasuke being crazy or a reminder about the years they were together – as allies, as brothers, as friends – and how nothing had changed. But seeing Sakura hiding her face, looking pitifully as she hunched like a beaten dog, made him abstain from saying a word. He maybe wasn't smart, but he knew people – he knew Sasuke couldn't be provoked with Sakura at his side.

The girl trembled once again, amazed by the raw power of Sasuke's chakra and a fear how sinister it had became. Despite the form of fire it took, there was no light to it – only a black void filled with screams and howls and blood and hurt and lust and need for more and more and more… And it reached to her, it reached to everyone around, teasingly, dangerously, cautiously taking over as if it had a mind on it's own.

Sakura cried out grabbing her head and falling to her knees. Everything was spinning like a black, empty marks on Sasuke's irises and yet it seemed to stand still. Time was non existent, everything was. The noise hurt her ears and yet she could hear nothing. Her body burned hot until it was thrown into the icy depths of the ocean just to be set on fire yet again. The darkness blinded her, went under her skin and started ripping her piece by piece by piece by piece by piece by piece...

Sakura opened her eyes and took a breath so deep as if she was just pulled out of the water. She was still standing in the same place where Sasuke had left her. Everyone seemed preoccupied with an argument he just had had with Naruto but she couldn't hear when she had been experiencing the dreadful sensation. She swayed a bit which attracted Tobi's attention. She looked up to him with her reddened eyes, wiping the sweat off her forehead trying to compose herself.

She had been here the whole time – or rather her body was. No, her mind didn't drift off, it had been here as well. It was the atrocious chakra that cut off her senses and settled in until it weakened enough for Sakura to tear it away.

She glanced at Sasuke's face – bloody tears streamed down onto the collar of his white shirt, he seemed to have trouble breathing as well and purple fires weren't powerful like they were before.

The darkness was feeding off him too.

Sakura leaned forward to draw Tobi's attention once again but his eyes were set on her all the time anyway.

“He's not going to last much longer, he's getting weaker.” she said loud enough for him to hear but not loud enough for Kakashi and Naruto, afraid, that they would use it against Uchiha.

Tobi nodded his head and straightened his arms that had been crossed behind his back.

“Tell **him** that.”

“Oh, I'll show him.” She intended to sound dangerously determined but instead she only confirmed to be tired and frustrated – she would be needing good, long rest after they got out of here, although she still wasn't sure who “they” were going to be.

She run up before Sasuke and before he could react she gathered as much chakra in her hand as she could in her state and released it when her fist came into contact with the purple “shield”. She didn't do any real damage but the chakra shook violently, giving the shinobi a warning.

“What the hell!”

“We're getting out of here, now!”

Sasuke gritted his teeth and outstretched his arm to grab her neck. Sakura was quicker and jumped away to finally settle in on one of the still standing pillars. Then she got a moment to see a skull hovering over Sasuke and it's arm welding a katana similar to his own. She gasped at the unexpected sight but she wasn't given any time to admire the jutsu when the giant sword swayed in her direction with intention of piercing right trough her. She unzipped her cloak and threw herself into the river, watching the cloth being ripped in half.

Sasuke smiled for a moment until he noticed lack of body under the material. He cursed looking frantically around him but the abuse of sharingan repaid him by sending piercing pain through his head. He understood then that there was no way he could fight Naruto and Kakashi in this state.

But God knew he wasn't letting go when it came to Sakura.

He jumped off the bridge after her, scanning the surface of water. The current wasn't strong so he should be able to notice any disturbance. As soon as his feet touched the liquid, Sakura emerged from water. He wanted to laugh at her stupidity, she would have had more chances staying hidden – more chances to live a few seconds longer. But what surprised him was how she raised her hands over her head in the surrender gesture.

“Can't you see we need to leave--”

He didn't let her finish. He was already dashing towards her with the sound of chidori piercing the air. He was unexpectedly stopped by Tobi who appeared before him, allowing Sasuke's arm to go right trough him at the same time grabbing boy's other hand. The remaining Team 7 members quickly moved before Sakura, both tightly holding kunai ready to be thrown.

“I believe you are aware of situation we are in. And it's going to get worse. If you weren't such a reckless brat you could have felt another back up coming.”

The chirping stopped and Sasuke's body seemed to relax, though Sakura, who was cautiously observing his chakra all the time, knew he was completely exhausted and had no strength left to oppose to Tobi.

Said man turned his head to her and this time she was able to see the red flicker more clearly. Was it…?

Seeing as he was waiting for her to make her decision, she nodded eagerly. Then the feeling of her body falling apart came back. It wasn't as unpleasant as the sensation before when she had looked into Sasuke's chakra. No, it was subtle yet firm, she was floating away like a sand. Her vision was slowly becoming darker and darker and she barely could make out anything of her teammate's screams but her own name.


	2. Chapter 2

She fell on the stone hard floor with a loud thud. None of her bones were broken but she was sure her hip is going to be seriously bruised.

She got up shakingly, shooting a single glance at Tobi holding half-unconscious Sasuke who looked at her as if he was unsure whenever he was hallucinating. She sighed relieved, seeing that his chakra had stabilized – as much as chakra of such kind could.

“Take his other arm and follow me.”

Sakura obliged but as soon as she touched Sasuke, he grunted something incomprehensible waving his hand at her – probably trying to push her away which made him look even more pathetic at the moment. She grabbed his arm firmly and put it around her shoulder but she did not dare to hold his waist, though at first she had wanted to. It was a habit ingrained back in their genin days – a touch like this used to be welcoming and between them it might had been the most intimate of gestures, wordless way to show support and care and, in Sakura's case, even affection. After all this years she could still remember his warmth when one of them had leaned on the other or the scent of his battered body and sweaty and bloodied skin, or his hot breath between the strands of her hair and fingers pressing into her side. And sometimes she could hear his heartbeat, especially when she was the one being held and his soft voice when he was uttering their current objective with trembling lips just to keep them focused.

She could have sworn she heard him, once, repeating her name.

But Sasuke they just had laid in bed was a shadow of a broken yet sweet boy she once knew.

She watched him shake under the thin covers, clenching fists and his brows furrowing. He seemed even paler in this light and with skin covered in a thick layer of sweat.

Tobi stood next to her with his arms crossed. She wanted to ask him why the hell hadn't he taken care of the Uchiha, maybe he found some sick pleasure in watching him suffer – guy obviously wasn't right in the head.

“You're a medic, aren't you?”

Sakura jumped, startled by the closeness of his voice.

“Wha… How did you know?”

“Sasuke told me once, I believe. Take care of him and do not leave this room until I'm back.”

Before she was able to ask him when was he planning on coming back (or why would Sasuke even mention her to him or how the boy knew of her abilities in the first place), the man was pulled into a whirl that grew out of emptiness and disappeared in a matter of seconds.

Sasuke's moan cut through the silence and her medic instinct instantly pushed her into the direction of sink where she spotted a clean cloth hanging on the edge. She soaked it in a cold water and then carefully laid it onto Sasuke's forehead.

He hissed from the sudden change of temperature but after few moments his expression became quite content – his body was resting and chakra started to slowly but steadily renew itself. Sakura knew there was nothing she could do, at least not in those conditions, but wait patiently. She though about using her chakra to ease his pain but after last encounter with the darkness residing inside him she decided not to meddle with it (just yet).

She heard him whisper words that fever was forcing into his mouth, words he was too weak to actually say out loud. So with the image of his dried lips moving she closed her eyes and tried to remember Sasuke he was three years ago.

“ _Sakura, Sakura...”_

There had been an explosion neither of them expected – the group of hostile shinobi was said not to have any fire element users. She was unlucky to be the one closest to the scene.

Explosion send an awfully loud ringing to her ears but being deaf was the least of her worries. Her body was thrown away and she coughed as a cloud of dust raised around her. But the smoke reached her before she was able to get up and suddenly she was choking on the poisonous gas.

Someone decided to use this moment of carelessness to grab her around her waist tightly and pull her out. Her eyes were closed and too watery for her to see. She felt fingers reaching for her arm but as soon as they made contact with her skin she screamed in pain. Her limb was covered in burns and whoever saved/abducted her realized it as they decided to grab her the other way. She felt pair of hand sneaking under her knees and back, picking her up and taking her away from explosion.

“ _Sakura, Sakura...”_

Her hearing had come back to her although every sound was still muffed. She recognized the voice though and in approval she put her head onto his shoulder.

“ _Sakura, Sakura...”_

But despite getting her strength back she couldn't help falling back into sweet oblivion. If she just rested for a short while maybe, maybe her ears would stop hurting, her arms wouldn't sting as much and she wouldn't feel the soreness in a throat. Maybe, just maybe for a short while…

“ _Sakura, Sakura, open your eyes.”_

She did. But instead of boy with care and worry on his face she was greeted with a sight of soundlessly sleeping Sasuke. She sighed, running a hand through her head, ashamed that she let a mere memory exhaust her so much.

She grabbed a cloth and decided to wipe the dirt off of Sasuke's face to occupy her mind with something else.

He was a kind of man who always slept with a one eye open and even the quietest sound or movement would disturb his sleep. His sudden indifference to being exposed before another person did not surprise her though – he was still human, and every human needs a proper rest once in a while.

Sakura pushed the zipper of his shirt a little bit down for a better access to his burning chest. Just as she meant to put a cold cloth onto his body a single drop of sweat caught her interest. Lazily, it run down neck drawing a straight line through his adam's apple to suddenly sped up and disappear under his short, black hair.

She couldn't turn her eyes away even after the sweat drop was long gone. Part of her was aroused by the sight, by the pale, soft flesh glistering teasingly. Her fingers twitched with a need to touch it and check if it felt as good as it looked.

The other part of her saw the opportunity. There were very little chances... No, there was no chances Sasuke would ever be so vulnerable before her ever again. All she needed to do was to reach for a kunai and slice his neck – once, only once. If she did it now he wouldn't even feel any pain. And it was such an easy thing to do… Killing Karin was easy, this would be even easier. Just grab the kunai, press it and--

She stood up, accidentally kicking the metal bowl and spilling the water on the floor.

She was becoming insane, there was no other explanation. Her feelings towards him wouldn't allow her kill him in self-defense and yet there she had been, honestly considering killing him in his sleep.

The mirror over the sink was too dirty and broken for the girl to see her reflection but she didn't mind, she also doubted she had anything left in her stomach to vomit with and gagging before her enemy wasn't exactly her thing.

She took off her skirt and shirt, glad that the cloak protected her clothes from blood. Weapons inside the bag, attached previously to the skirt, made a loud clinking noise but she doubted this would wake the Uchiha. Her shoes were much worse though. Disgusted, she pulled the zipper and shook them off – some blood dried to the point when even the river couldn't wash it away. The same probably went for her face and hair.

Sakura twisted the faucet handle and exhaled contentedly when the cold water splashed onto her face. Her fingers forcefully washed her hair and she closed her eyes to not see the pinkish liquid moving into the outlet. Her nail were scraping deeply, making her skin red and for a moment she wished she could just rip it off, hoping that it would somehow stop the images of the dead girl showing up in her head.

Nothing would make her forget, not even another kill, it never did.

She did not notice when the icy water washing away the blood was replaced with salty tears or when her injuries finally started to sting (but not enough, never enough). Sakura whimpered loudly, barely able to hold the onto the sink to prevent herself from falling.

She did not notice the pair of black eyes watching her attentively all this time.

 

* * *

 

Tobi and Sasuke were sitting at the opposite ends of the table while Sakura was seated in the middle with white Zetsu behind, guarding her.

Tobi was lacking his Akatsuki robe and now wore simple black clothes, similar to those that were given to her. He did not took off his mask though and that made her feel uneasy – she preferred to know with whom she deals with. His hesitancy in revealing his face also proved that he did not trust her, no matter how nice he was, as nice as a leader of the most dangerous organization can be.

It was a game, she knew, trying to get her on his side or at least tame her enough to prevent her from opposing him. Either way, she would became a useful tool against Konoha – being Naruto's friend and Hokage's precious apprentice.

But the game was pointless at this point. She was not stupid to believe Sasuke or Tobi would spare her if she changed her mind and decided to come back to her team – she knew too much and was too valuable as a pawn. She truly doubted they would let her go even after Konoha was razed to the ground.

No, Sasuke would never allow her to leave without having his way first.

He had not looked at her since he woken up. One could think that it was simply disinterest that made him ignore her, perhaps it was and she just though too highly of herself. Or perhaps it was his way of showing Sakura his disappointment with her – she desperately needed a reaction, some way that would prove that there still had been life in him, broken, but that there had been a part of the old _young_ Sasuke that is fighting, that is not giving up to the darkness.

But he remained indifferent to her intense stare or her trembling lips (ready to open to scream the confessions of love, of regret, of pleas for punishment for every wrong she had done to him) which remained closed out of cowardice.

He had been like a statue, cold and dead as she healed his wounds, brushing his skin unintentionally – or maybe she wanted to finally touch him after those three years. She had taken some hair out of his eyes to heal his temple earlier, but lingered despite how inappropriate it had been there and then.

His skin looked healthier and darker than before and his eyes were finally lacking the red and black shapes. It was hard for her not to become mesmerized by his flawless face, especially after being deprived of opportunities to admire it for so long. She wanted to be angry at herself, for focusing on such trivial things but she completely forgot to as she spotted how thick his eyelashes were.

Maybe it was for the best as Sakura managed to see his brows furrowing slightly, barely noticeably. She pulled away, clearing her throat awkwardly, and continued the healing session.

It had been the only time that day that he had acknowledged her presence.

Now, he was also covering his face – with his hands linked together before his mouth. It was such a Sasuke-like pose to do, Sakura would have smiled if it weren't for circumstances.

“After those men are _silenced_ and you're back at the new hideout, you know what has to be done, Sasuke?”

The boy did not respond. He put his hands on the table and got up slowly, ready to leave.

“And you, Sakura-san, I'd like to have a word with you.”

Before she drew attention to the man, she felt Sasuke's eyes switch onto her for mere seconds, watching her suspiciously but he quickly brushed it off and turned away from them, heading to the exit.

Tobi seemed to relax the moment Uchiha disappeared. He sighed heavily, massaging the headache away.

“I have a special request for you. You saw what happened to Sasuke's chakra yesterday.”

“It was more of a feeling” she responded, not that it mattered to the man.

“I need you to have an eye for him. Overusing sharingan has its consequences that he foolishly decides to ignore. If you see he's crossing the line – stop him.”

Sakura wanted to laugh him in the face. Was he expecting that Sasuke would actually listen to _her_? He honestly couldn't think that their fight earlier had been just a friendly bickering.

Sasuke planned on tearing her apart, he was furious. A blind man could see he still was. The girl even suspected that he might be trying to get rid of her during their task (either that, or, if she's lucky, he'll keep her alive for now to torment her later).

“I know what you are capable of” Tobi said, and that completely wiped the sadly amused expression off Sakura's face. She started growing concerned about the amount and kind of things the man knew about her.

She stood up, swaying slightly, holding onto a stone chair for support.

“Your survival depends on it. When he's mad… he can't control himself much.”

“Fine. I get it” she answered, hoarsely.

As much as she wanted Sasuke back, the real Sasuke – the one who was alive, she did not have a bravery to deal with the insanity and darkness residing inside the boy (she though she knew. It seems he was right all the time, she would be never able to understand him). She was lucky yesterday. If it weren't for Kakashi (hell, even Tobi), she doubted she would live to see another day.

What scared her the most, though, was the reason for his outburst and remaining hatred towards her. If it was indeed t _he thing_ inside him, this thing that savored his pain, turning it into wrath, sharing its blood-lust with him – then the old Sasuke was long gone, there was no way to reach him, making him lost for Team 7 forever because they were too late.

But if it was him, if it was him that corrupted his chakra to the point it started to destroy him, if attacking her was his and only his intention, then maybe he still could be saved. Naruto would definitely be capable to do it, he had always been good at bringing the best out of Sasuke. But things between her and him wouldn't go back to the way they were before. _She came to kill him_. She did not delude herself that she can be forgiven. But being hated by someone you love the most…

She did not fall asleep when she reached her room (well, it wasn't much of a room – an empty space with a bedroll and some of her medical equipment scattered on the floor). She collapsed from exhaustion as soon as her toes touched the cold covers.

At least she did not dream that night. Unless you're not supposed to see an empty, black void that pulls you in but there's no end and you feel like you fall in every direction, when you're not dreaming.

 

* * *

 

Sakura sat by the counter in a small tavern that Tochiko was supposed to show up. She was bored but mostly tired by the sleepless nights which were fault of the Uchiha insisting that the less breaks they take, the sooner they reach the village. Obviously he had not told her that, he just kept on moving forward without looking back if she was following him. He had spoken to her only when they reached their destination.

“Find him and kill him” he said, before he disappeared in the opposite direction.

Obviously she was looking for a man, as not to appear useless, and obviously she prayed that Sasuke had found the same trail she did – at least she wouldn't be the one to _silence_ the man, as Tobi had nicely put it (she had started liking his version more too, she noticed).

But her hopes for the latter were small as the information she had gathered were solid. So unless Sasuke was quick and lucky enough…

Sakura took a sip of her sake, her hands shaking.

She wasn't stupid to look for a man accustomed with shinobi, in a shinobi gear, but that wasn't the reason for her nervousness. She had her fists and perfect chakra control, after all. But the idea of slicing his skin, his flesh, his blood staining her (just like Karin's blood had) left her with a weird taste in her mouth. No previous mission of such kind had made her this way, the regret, disgust and general disappointment always came after the deed, in a privacy of her room.

But this wasn't a mission and she wasn't killing to survive.

The door opened and a tall, thin man with silver, square glasses entered the tavern. His smooth, dark suit made him stand out among the other drinkers but no one paid any mind – it wasn't the first time someone of his sorts came there to do some business and surely not the last.

Right after him entered two other man, dressed as neatly as him, but their shoulders were boarder and legs much thicker. There was no doubts those were his bodyguards.

Normally, this wouldn't had been a problem but Tobi wanted things done quietly (as if a death of such man could go unnoticed).

Sakura looked through the window but upon seeing an empty streets and no black-haired boy creeping up behind the man, she took a deep breath, trying to calm her heart down. Tochiko looked at the bartender, nodding in his direction and pointing at the table where the other “businessman” was seated.

Sakura immediately crossed her legs and turned her body towards him. She smiled sweetly, playfully drawing circles on her cup. That came out rather unsubtly but it worked, as Tochiko smiled back and pointed towards her for bartender to refill her drink.

She observed him even after he sat down. Her glances were quick and short, enough to make sure he did not disappear. But she caught herself watching the door of the tavern in anticipation more often than the man.

 

The room seemed rather large thanks to the empty space. It was partially covered in dust and one could easily make out that the bed and table-lamp were the only things frequently used.

Sakura stood closely to an open window, glancing at the street from time to time but keeping Tochiko in her eyesight, waiting for any suspicious move. The man only took off his jacket before he started cleaning the glasses which he put back on as soon as he finally spoke.

“Well, are you going to just stand there?” he said. Sakura knew it wasn't a question but an order.

She straightened, moving her chest forward, creating an illusion that she was fully confident in the situation and she perfectly knew what she was doing. She used her hands to fix her skirt, hiding lack of control over her shaking hands and making sure a kunai was still strapped to her thigh.

Aware of the presence of Tochiko's bodyguards, she remembered to be swift and wait for a perfect moment. She tried to think of a way to distract him, preferably making him turn around, somewhere close to the bed so no noise would be made as the body would not hit the floor. She could take him there, propose to take his clothes off and then…

A loud thud filled the bedroom as Tochiko's fist met her cheek and she fell down on her side. Blood filled her mouth and her elbows hurt from the impact.

“You thought I'm stupid? That I did not know a woman is asking for me? You thought me and my people are blind not to see you waiting there for hours or that you left the drink untouched? Who send you?”

Sakura tried to stand up but unexpected blow to her stomach managed to change her mind. Her chakra was slowly but effectively healing her and protecting from the inside. She could not allow herself to wait for an opportunity anymore though, as his men could barge in at any time now.

“You don't even look like a whore.”

“Such a gentleman” she spat, hoping that a little bit of humor would distract her from what her goal actually was – and that was to kill a man, a man that she did not feel alright with killing even after he threatened her life ( _am I going insane?_ ).

Tochiko wanted to charge at her again but metal of the kunai shined under the material of her skirt. He bended over to take it away, unconsciously giving Sakura a nice angle to attack. Fortunately underestimated, she snatched the weapon first and pushed it deep into Tochiko's throat, whose eyes widened in astonishment.

The man brought his hands to the wound and foolishly pulled the kunai out. The blood poured out violently at Sakura before Tochiko, upon realization of his mistake, tired to stop the bleeding by pressuring the split but the damage had been already done.

He looked straight into the girl's eyes terrified and accusingly waving at her as if hoping his inaudible curses would work.

She did not move. She was paralyzed by the crimson liquid flowing through the gaps between wooden panels. Lazy black rivers encircled her, she could feel their warmth in her fingers. The blood splatters were like a thousand red eyes watching her, judging for the crime she had committed. The evidence of her iniquity laid before her, victim's hand stretching out, pointing at its executioner.

There was no escape. There had never been. Her trial had been going on ever since she had first killed and there will be no end to it until her death. Even after death, there will be nothing, she will not get a chance to answer for her sins and this will be the punishment she will have to deal with.

But there were also the red eyes. Red eyes splattered on the floor, on the walls and victim's accusing posture. The red eyes around the kunai, still freshly bloodied, made to fit perfectly in her hand.

There were Karin's red eyes. Innocent red eyes, scared and unaware. Karin's red eyes that had pleaded for mercy and yet they had not as they did not know what was truly coming.

And Sasuke's red eyes as she waited to sunk her kunai into his flesh.

She screamed as the door slammed against the wall and two tall figures were thrown on the floor with a third one hovering above them, taking its time to examine the scene before him.

 

Sakura sat silently inside a tub filled with pinkish water as Sasuke was disposing of the bodies in the next room. Her soundless weeping became stronger with every shift of a heavy dead body behind the bathroom door. Her fingers moved quickly through her hair, through the dried blood on her skin, scratching painfully just like the day she had been brought to Tobi's hideout.

She had tried to compose herself, she knew better than to annoy Sasuke with her sobs and whines. But the horrifying sight was still vivid before her eyes and she still could not comprehend that she had been capable of such crime. There had been no honorable fight, no willing participants, no equal chances at survival.

But would those things really justify her doings?

Sasuke, entering the room, pulled her out of her thoughts. She brought her knees closer to her chest although he did not even glanced at her. He threw some clean clothes onto the floor and turned to the faucet to wash the blood away from his hands.

“I will teleport us outside the village. I don't know for how long Tochiko paid, so be ready to leave soon.”

“What about… _the mess_?”

“Bodies are sealed away. I used illusion technique on the room. They'll discover it when we'll be long gone.”

“But they will see it.”

Sasuke knew it was not a question so he did not answered. Quietly, he finished scrubbing off the blood, completely unaffected by the recent event which amazed Sakura, and yet she could not imagine him reacting differently.

There was a moment of awkward stillness that seemed to affect everything from their words to their breaths. Sakura was feeling uncomfortable by his presence, mostly because of his inhumane behavior and silent treatment. But mainly she was jealous of the way he indifferently cleaned the blood from under fingernails. She wondered whether he had any regrets, whether he dreamed of those who he killed. Maybe he took pleasure in seeing others in pain and it was only fair, in his opinion, for every time he had to suffer? Maybe he felt nothing and he believed himself to be designed only to bring justice for the death of his clan?

But those were things she would never dare to ask him and things he would never speak of to her anyway.

He headed for the door slowly, lingering at the threshold as if he did not wish to leave (to Sakura he looked like a man that had forgotten something but he can't quite remember what). His lips opened but no word left his mouth. Sakura noticed a faint sign of confusion on his face before he finally turned away and stepped inside the room, closing the door behind him

Sakura though, for a short while, that maybe he was just as lost as her.


	3. Chapter 3

Sakura sat on the floor, surrounded by stacks of paper and empty pouches which usually were filled with herbs and medicine. She sighed heavily as she noticed that after a recent attack by bandits, she was also running low on weapon. The headache increased as she added new names to the list of things she needed badly – mainly soldier pills as Sasuke had been lately pushing her endurance to the limits and she doubted she would be able to keep up on her own anymore.

She was truly astonished he had gotten her a room she could stay in and rest while he would be out there dealing with another one of Tobi's “friends”. She was thankful that he did not request her help, although she was sure he did so not out of pure worry about her but rather worry about her compromising the mission with one of her panic attacks.

Nevertheless, she though this would give her a chance to restock at the local pharmacy, perhaps even go somewhere where they give a normal food (not that she had something against Sasuke's revolutionary idea that breakfast, lunch and dinner are absolutely of no importance and running gives you far more energy than a proper meal) but apparently Sasuke believed it wouldn't be necessary to leave her some money when she had mentioned she's low on supplies. And she really did not wish to ask him directly.

'Sasuke-kun, I know we have our own village to destroy but can you give me a second to do some shopping' Sakura though, smiling as she brought a bottle of sake to her lips. Fortunately, he was not yet at the point of looking through her _**private**_ things to find she managed to smuggle a couple of those when they were leaving latest village.

Slowly she started to understand Tsunade – alcohol truly had some incredible magical abilities. It may not been able block out every nightmare, so she still refused to sleep, afraid her screams would wake Sasuke up (although she did not really have this many opportunities to refuse) but at least days like those, where she was left alone with her thoughts, were more bearable.

Sakura crawled into bed, her muscles aching from their journey. She took off her black turtleneck and wiped off the sweat from her brow before she threw the cloth away. It was impossibly hot outside and opening windows did more damage than it helped.

She lay for a while, looking at the gray and shabby walls and TV that showed only static.

She hated those moments of passiveness. The lack of sound inside allowed her to hear people on the streets, taking care of their own affairs. It reminded her then that time wasn't still, it did not wait for her – everyone she knew was very much living their life. She wondered if someone had informed her parents of her betrayal – did they cry, were they angry, had they not believed? Were Naruto and Kakashi still trying to find them or were they rather focused on the oncoming war? What of Ino? Sakura still had her face, reddish from tears she shed for Sasuke, vivid before her eyes. What of the Rookies? Had they written her off?

Sakura wiped her face once again, not wishing to cry right now.

She rose up, looking around the room for something to occupy her mind with. Sasuke's bed took her interest, as his personal belongings lay untouched ever since he threw them there carelessly.

Despite the great curiosity, she did not dare to go through them. Besides, he was not very sentimental person, not anymore at least – apart from scrolls and weapons she would probably find nothing.

Bored and exhausted she pushed the blanket over her face to block out the light. Perhaps it would be for the best to use this time for some rest as Sasuke surely wouldn't allow her to get some once they start traveling again.

 

* * *

 

Sakura's body was heavy, she knew despite the fact that she had decided to stay still like her surroundings, barely visible, coated in the black of the night. Stars were red, pulsing weakly like little hearts and a moon of the same color was rising, lazily illuminating Sakura's figure.

Footsteps altered her. She moved her eyes from the sky to the person who stopped right beside her. She opened her mouth to speak, but only a muffled sound came out. Tears ran down her cheeks as the red eyes looked down on her.

Karin's face was emotionless as the blood spurted out of her throat.

She sobbed violently as Tochiko's corpse too came up to her.

Just as the girl, he moved he tilted hi head back, opening his mouth in a silent scream, just like the one Sakura had left him with as he was bleeding to death. A thin slit appeared on his throat and soon she was drowning in the red of their blood, in the red of the moon, in the red of the stars which stared blinking rapidly.

She moved a bit, intending to get up but something was holding her down. She jerked her legs, trying to push off a dark shadow that sat down painfully onto her stomach. Effortlessly, it moved its legs tighter around her sides.

Sakura halted as red eyes emerged from the dark, redder than the stars had became, stars now looking at her, like the day she killed Tochiko. Perhaps those were the very same eyes.

Cold hands moved towards her neck, teasingly even, like the shadow wanted to prolong her death as her despair was its source of amusement. Fingers embraced her throat tenderly, with much care and affection, just to squeeze it violently without a warning.

Sakura charged at the shadow's face, but her wrists were immediately snatched away by the creature. It leaned forward, so close she could feel its breath on her lips.

Sasuke smirked at the sight of her distress.

He let go of her hands, bringing his lips to the side of her head, touching her skin as he spoke “I'm an avenger. You don't think I would just forget what you did, do you?”

Sakura closed her eyes and shook her head.

Of course she didn't. Not even once she neglected a thought about facing the consequences of every crime she committed. She deserved it but… but not like this, this wasn't right. This wasn't Sasuke.

“No, you will look at me. I will cut off your eyelids if I have to but you will look at me.”

She felt Sasuke's hand hovering over her face but she moved it away, still refusing to look at him.

“For God's sake, Sakura… Don't make things difficult. Open your eyes!”

“Get off me...”

But Sasuke only pressed harder into her, his fingers leaving bruises on her neck.

“I said OPEN!”

She cried out, her nails then scratching his face, as he was prying her eyelids open. A loud sob shook her body when she started to see the red again.

“Look at me!” he ordered, forcing her to obey with a hard slap.

He was furious, his sharingan spinning so fast she could barely make something out of its shape.

His hands reached for her again but before he could grab her, she scratched his face with all of the force she had. Sasuke was taken aback as he stopped for a second, his fingers tracing red lines she left on his cheek. She pushed him away then, taking a chance on escaping.

He saw it coming though, and immediately grabbed her ankle, yanking Sakura back where she had previously lain.

“What the hell, Sakura?”

But she paid him no mind as she watched cracks on the yellowish ceiling. Tears were still rolling down her cheeks and she breathed, content that she could not see the stars.

Sasuke backed off, taking in the sight before him.

When Sakura looked at him again, he was not angry. Instead he seemed confused and tired and she knew he was not really expecting any answer. Maybe he was already aware of her messed up dream – for what other purpose, than going inside her head, would he activate his sharingan?

Although his eyes were back to normal and he lacked murderous intentions towards her (at least for now), everything was still pretty vivid before her eyes. She remained wary of him.

She slipped off her bed, avoiding his gaze.

“Fuck” he hissed when he stroked the injured cheek. Sakura remembered to cut her nails in case _this_ happens again.

Sasuke looked down his shirt and noticed bruises had shown up on his skin. He did not wish to check his jaw, afraid might had been broken.

He looked at her, awaiting, forcing her instincts to wake up and fix him.

Sakura hesitated. The touch of his body against her still felt fresh on her skin and she yet had to steady her breath. She waited impatiently for the red to flood his eyes once again and his hands to rush for her throat the moment he gets a chance.

Part of her knew that she was just being paranoid. If Sasuke had not killed her still, then he wouldn't kill her any time soon. The other part, though, remained her that barely week ago he was ready to end her _twice_.

She felt shivers running down her spine, and her fingers subconsciously moved in a search for a kunai as Sasuke shifted. He took notice in her change of behavior.

Sasuke ignored exhaustion for the sake of curiosity. He came up to her and, despite her protests, grabbed the back of her head and looked her straight in the eyes, his sharingan activating unexpectedly.

She had no time to react before he was already pulling himself out of her mind, with his eyes back to normal but his fingers not letting go of her hair. She let some tears leave her eyes as she looked back at him, scared that he would mock her for being so weak – what kind of shinobi is she, to cry after her victims?

“Just answer me this, honestly: why are you here?”

His voice was a whisper, soft, as though he tried to coax her into submission. It it don't matter to her much, as he could tell her to jump into a fire and she would probably do so without much hesitation. But it was sweet of him, she though, to at least try to pretend that they were twelve again. She smiled faintly at this act, resting her head comfortably into his palm.

“You had always been saving me… You and Naruto. I just wanted… I wanted to save you this time, from the darkness. I couldn't let them take you and execute you like a criminal you were not. But I can't kill you. I tried when you slept… But I've betrayed you so many times already, this is not what I have promised.”

“But wouldn't that hurt if I was gone, Sakura?” he asked mockingly. She assumed he did so to point out how weak she was for him – those who held any kind of feelings, especially towards their enemy, were not fit to be shinobi after all.

“I might be foolishly in love but I'm not a fool to think I would survive this.”

He frowned as his fingers entwined more firmly with her hair. His breath stilled and she could hear him gulp. Sasuke shifted, slightly worried with the way she stared back at him.

He never saw her as blank, as defeated.

She moved away from him, standing up and his grasp did not resisted. Unsteadily, using bed and walls for support she got into bathroom, so small she felt she barely fit in. Bringing her face closer to the mirror she gazed at her neck expecting it to turn red, to turn yellow, to turn blue. She awaited for her lungs to scream for air, her vision to darken.

None of this happened and her fingers traced but a memory of Sasuke's hand, like an invisible scar.

She saw his eyes reflecting in the mirror, watching her closely, his limbs twitching. He was fighting again, she noticed, fighting an urge to finish what he had started on that bridge.

Was she being annoying again?

Was she making him question decisions he made, just like he had done it to her?

Had it always been that? The reason for his irritation with her?

“Does my love bother you, Sasuke-kun?” she whispered, knowing well she had his full attention, yet she did not expect him to react. “You know what to do.”

Her head hit cold, hard tiles with a thud and her throat bruising under painful pressure. She did not fight back for this was right, this was what _he_ needed. She smiled softly, moved by the sight before her, by the sight of a boy she thought once gone. But there were his shaking hands, his teeth gnashing, his messy hair falling into so young, yet so old, so scared eyes.

_This was right._

Perhaps she knew of possibility of him letting her go – she saw it as everything coming back to as it were, him so cold, so distant. Rushing forward, after what? Him, a stranger. But she did not see it coming, Sasuke breaking his hold but still keeping her in place by her arms. He averted his eyes in shame but before Sakura could determine if what she saw in them was indeed real, he pressed his head to her chest, like a child reaches for its mother.

And he cried. Loud sobs were jerking his body and tears dropping onto Sakura's skin, still sweaty from the nightmare.

She did not move, she merely was, absorbing what he was giving her, although dumbfounded.

Sasuke fell to his knees, his nose brushing her abdomen and hands embracing her legs tightly she had to hold onto the wall not to slip. Cautiously, Sakura let her fingers brush the top of his head affectionately and seeing or hearing no protests from him, she let them sunk deeper. Her stroking provoked his cries to become harder. His hands reached higher to grasp her body tighter and pull it closer.

The feeling of him, breaking, pieces of him immersing into her, was far more intense that the hold on her throat had ever been. And that breaking, it felt good.

So she shed some tears as well, tears that were hers and some that she shed in his name.

She wondered what had he seen as he had been holding her, back in their room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now I only need to find some motivation to finish chapter 4. I have no idea where :')

**Author's Note:**

> I also post this FF on my tumblr, but there are higher chances of someone finding this here. I'll post the next two chapters in two weeks.


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